YOU DON'T BAN KAVERA

No, it began actually yesterday at around 8 am. After breakfast I began having a shadowy feeling in my stomach. That cassava woman did not handle the sticks with enough protection; she didn’t use a kavera like she normally does. She instead used some had paper, the sort that cement comes in, you know. I didn’t want to comment because that woman can really blast you. Even when you are right. So she must have infected me with some bacteria of sorts. But I took it easy and took some antibacterials, and felt better.

Yah, I went to work but my stomach kept reminding me of the damn cassava woman. I was pissed. I reached Arua Park and waited for the lorry. I was supposed to be the major man in the loading of this lorry. This was timely because Mama Nakintu is on my neck for her rent. As I waited, I kept feeling like I was not going to handle the hard job of loading. Then I ran to the toilet. When I came out I went to the drug shop, bought some tabs to that effect. The problem was gone; I even began forgetting the cassava woman.

I was a little surprised when at lunch Faridah brought my ‘kikomando’ in a paper bag, like the ones those take away restaurants use. Bean soup and sliced chapatti in a paper bag? I almost refused it but I didn’t. She is the only one who can give me food on credit. I took it after she told me that the government had banned ‘kavera’ from the market. Now I knew what the problem was with my cassava woman.

When I reached home in the evening, I found Ken waiting for me. He had just got his money from the other job he told you about. He was going to that Malaya of his again. Can you believe that! Well that’s Ken. He took me to the rolex guy down the road. I was already planning to go to Nalongo’s but I said you never let a rolex pass. Now see what it has done to me. And you see he didn’t take one himself for some weird reason. Maybe because the guy was touching the thing with his bare hands. Funny but the ‘kavera’ is banned and we have to eat the rolex.

I tell you as soon as I finished it, I ran to the toilet. I did more runs to and from the toilet than probably all the times I have gone to the toilet in my life. I said to myself no this can’t be just diarrhea. I wanted to go back to the clinic in town and pick some other tablets from the same guy that gave me some in during the day but I wasn’t allowed time by the damn disease. Then a man saw me, a neighbor saw me and said that can’t be normal. I ran with shame to my room. He ran to the LC chairman and soon they came with a car. I was coming from the toilet when they told me to enter the car. I said I was going to be fine but they told me they would make sure the doctors said so. I almost exploded in their car. I think I won’t forget that day. I had to summon all the breaking powers in my body to stop the stool from spilling into my new 50 cent jean man.

Now am here on a hospital bed feeling like am going to catch another disease. This place smells like sewerage that has been let loose from right under my nose. Man this place by the way is full of cholera patients I hear that out side there they are erecting a tent for the guys that can’t come in here. I understand people are coming in like rain.

Hold my hand. Take me to the toilet out there. Ahaa! Now that we are out here, we can escape and see where these guys will ever find me to ask me for their hospital fees. Those guys who brought me in this damn hospital can pay for me now.

Where did you park the boda boda?